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Happiness is a product of going for what you want and appreciating what you get.
Pursuit and Gratitude You have to have both elements. You can be gifted the best of everything and you will be miserable if you aren’t actively engaged in seeking out something. This is the soiled rich kid who is miserable until they find a social cause to champion. They enjoy the champagne and caviar when hosting a fundraiser for cancer research but not when it’s just a party. Or a poor person can be happy when they strive and feel blessed by the charity they receive from others. In track the person who strives to win and PRs coming in 3rd is way happier than the stud sprinter who always wins and is bored of running pointless races. You have to be actively engaged in the pursuit of what you want and you have to have gratitude for the fruits of those efforts even when. They aren’t what you had targeted. The cycles of pursuit and gratitude doesn’t end. It’s that continued momentum that makes you happy. Stopping either the pursuit or the gratitude will lead to a depressive episode. This happens to retirees all the time if they don’t take up a hobby or stay busy. It obviously happened to people who become so singleminded that they dismiss anything other than their desired target as worthless. Pursuit and gratitude are the 2 peddles of the happiness bike. It’s hard to keep it going for long with just one peddle. P+G=H
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Self loathing is what gives off the creepy stalker vibe.
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