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30 Most influential People of the last 30 years #26: Will Smith

1/31/2011

The ThinkTank Panel (of One) proudly presents the 30 Most influential People of the last 30 years. These are the people who have shaped and molded the ThinkTank Panel (of One) into what it is today; Arrogant, Neurotic, Ostensibly Ostentatious, and Prohibitively Expensive. Today we look at #26.

Will Smith

The ThinkTank Panel (of One) is not referring to the Academy award nominated actor/Grammy award winning rapper, because technically that would be Mr. Willard Christopher Smith Jr.
No, the 26th spot on the countdown is particularly reserved for the character the afore mentioned actor/rapper portrayed on NBC’s “the Fresh Prince of Bell Air.” No one on the ThinkTank Panel (of One) has ever met Willard, and know nothing about him personally, but Will Smith has spent more time in the ThinkTank Panel (of One) living than the ThinkTank Panel (of One)’s own coffee table.

There are 3 individuals in the 30 most influential people of the last 30 years countdown that the ThinkTank Panel (of One) has modeled their typical patterns of behavior around through sincere but admittedly unrecognizably bad imitation. Will Smith is the first.

So what exactly did Master William possess as a personality trait that the ThinkTank Panel (of One) found so essential and irresistible? The short answer, derived after years of intense scientific study, and human resource management surveys is quite simply: people skills. Will Smith was not the super smooth Casanova that precipitated his self proclaimed alias of Prince (as in "charming"). Indeed Will’s schemes almost never worked out. He always got caught. He was constantly in trouble, or had people mad at him, such as the police, Coach Smiley, Uncle Phil, or especially Carlton (side note: Alfonso Ribiero would be #31 on this countdown thanks to this and this). Yet he was always able to maintain working relationships with people. Will treated people to a free show with every social interaction. Every conversation was a private performance by the Fresh Prince. Sometimes it was a show of compassion, sometimes it was an exhibition of ridicule, but Will always gave people a performance worth the price of admission.

The ingenious microcosm of human nature the ThinkTank Panel (of One) gleams from Will Smith is that people appreciate being treated as a private audience, even if they resent the sentiment of the performance. This has proved to be a difficult lesson for the ThinkTank Panel (of One) to put into practice. And so, if you listen carefully, you will recognize the phony lines and facial expressions made famous by the Fresh Prince, mutilated by disastrous imitation in the ThinkTank Panel (of One)’s various attempts at communication.

Warner Bros. has blocked the embedding of Fresh Prince Videos, so click on this picture to go to best Youtube clips ever!!

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30 Most influential People of the last 30 years. #27: Shawn Kemp

1/29/2011

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Shawn Kemp

In the humble opinion of the ThinkTank Panel (of One) Shawn Kemp was the best in-game dunker of all time! The power, the speed, the flight; The lightning strike!! Each night the ThinkTank Panel (of One) went to sleep dreaming of attacking the rim with such precision and ferocity. The Reign Man held a special place in the ThinkTank Panel (of One)’s dreams each night. This was assured by the Shawnic Boom Poster hanging above the ThinkTank Panel (of One)’s bunk bed.

It was the sight of the Reign Man and Gary Payton walking out of the locker room together to start the second half of a game the ThinkTank Panel (of One) attended against the Utah Jazz, that carried the ThinkTank Panel (of One) through many challenges and trying times. That image of single minded dedication to the game at hand, in a word: Professional. This is the vision the ThinkTank Panel (of One) aspired to one day become (Aside from the 7 illegitimate children).

To this day, the ThinkTank Panel (of One) constantly emulates Shawn Kemp's post Lister Blister celebratory gestures to commemorate everything from ice cream sundaies to presidential elections, and is still moved to tears at the poetic transcendence of the allegory and imagery upon hearing Michael Cage compare Shawn Kemp to a Hurricane………………

And was there anything flyer than the Reebok Kamikazi??

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30 Most influential People of the last 30 years #28: Chris Kinman

1/28/2011

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Chris Kinman

With his fine Irish last name, red hair and short stature, Chris Kinman was a sort of leprechaun pimp daddy. The ThinkTank Panel (of One) has never met another individual with more raw charisma or unabashed gumption. Chris Kinman is the only kindergartner to talk his class out of an ice cream party simply by announcing aloud “Yuck , I hate ice cream!” Chris Kinman made wearing Apex sneakers cool, a feat the 2 time defending SuperBowl Champion Dallas Cowboys could not pull off. As Chris once told the ThinkTank Panel (of One) matter-of-factly : “I can tell people to do stuff and they will do it.” This is a man who pushed the fully clothed ThinkTank Panel (of One) into Brad Willcuts’ swimming pool, and the ThinkTank Panel (of One) had to fight the strong urge to thank him for it (it was a hot day).

For years the ThinkTank Panel (of One) marveled at Chris Kinman and his unparalleled powers of persuasion. Then one day after school the ThinkTank Panel (of One) over heard Chris Kinman complaining loudly, and lamenting “Why does everything have to suck?” In that brief moment of inspired clarity the ThinkTank Panel (of One) realized that even the power to command the very will of others does not guarantee happiness or contentment. Furthermore, if the charismatic blarney filled pimp dad himself could be miserable, it stood to reason the little old ThinkTank Panel (of One) without so much as 2 shakes of a Shillelagh could be happy. From that moment on the ThinkTank Panel (of One) resolved not to waste energy trying to compete with other’s talents and abilities but to take pride and contentment and find satisfaction in one’s own abilities. A lesson the Leprechaun Pimp is sure to have learned for himself soon after teaching it to the ThinkTank Panel (of One) and is now sharing with the rest of the world.

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30 Most influential People of the last 30 years #29: Stephen Q. Urkle

1/23/2011

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Stephen Q. Urkle

Steve Urkle was the quintessential nerd. Yet through sheer force of personality ( and eventually the help of the cool gene transformation chamber) he became so much more. Originally conceived as a plot device for a single episode of Family Matters, our neighborhood annoyance parlayed his bespecled and suspendered shtick , a la the Fonz, into TGIF superstar status. Above all Steve Urkle was true to himself. Steve was an individual through and through. When all others would have done “the Robot” at a roof top dance party, Steve did “the Urkel,” and it was a hit.

For some reason the ThinkTank Panel (of One) always related well to Steve’s ongoing unrequited love for Laura Winslow. And that explains why the ThinkTank Panel of (One is) is going to ignore the hypocracy of the the previous paragraph's gushing over “to thine own self be true” when the ThinkTank Panel of One now says that Steve Urkel's transformation into Ste'fon Ur-kel was the sentinel moment of the ThinkTank Panel (of One)’s adolescence. The duality of personality gave the ThinkTank Panel( of One) hope for change, and highlighted the resilience and ingenuity that made the original Steve Urkel so endearing.

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30 most Influential People of the last 30 years #30: Michael Jordan

1/22/2011

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Michael Jordan

The inspiration for the world’s most iconic brand of athletic shoes. G.O.A.T. The Greatest Of All Time; Meaning the greatest basketball player to ever take the court.

At various times throughout the last 30 years the ThinkTank Panel (of One) has acclaimed Michael Jordan near god-like status, going so far as to perform ceremonial rituals involving the placement of basketballs at a shrine erected of posters, sneakers and trading cards.

Though the ThinkTanlk Panel (of One) spent hours imitating the every movement of Michael Jordan on the basketball court, (a practice termed by the adoring fans clamoring to witness it as “Do Jordans”), the true impact of Air Jordan on the ThinkTank Panel (of One) is the importance of determination. While many have dismissed Jordan’s Hall of Fame induction speech as arrogant and ungracious, in it, Jordan provides a clear glimpse of just what made him the greatest of all time: manipulation of his own mind to maintain a relentless drive to compete, win, and dominate. This may mean intentionally misconstruing other’s comments or actions to perceive insults, or highlighting differences between himself and those he admires to facilitate conflict. Some call it ruthless. The ThinkTank Panel (of One) calls it fearless. As Jordan says, “Fear is an Illusion.”

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30 Most influential People of the last 30 years #26: Will Smith

30 Most influential People of the last 30 years. #27: Shawn Kemp

30 Most influential People of the last 30 years #28: Chris Kinman

30 Most influential People of the last 30 years #29: Stephen Q. Urkle

30 most Influential People of the last 30 years #30: Michael Jordan

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