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In college I wrote an essay on an article I read proposing that access to sexual partners was a contributing factor to the decision of young men to join gangs. In the essay I joked that this must be Due to Michael Jackson's video for Beat it, as it made it appear that all gang members are secretly awesome dancers, and the ladies just can't help themselves. I remember my teacher writing "you're blaming women for an awful lot of violence." First of all this was the premise of a scholarly article in a behavioral journal based on hundreds of in-depth interviews with gang members. Secondly, I didn't blame women. I very clearly I blamed the Man in the Mirror. I believe this was the same teacher who told me Eminem was a prostitute and if I liked him I was one too!! Ok not really! What she actually said is that Eminem was "sacrificing his integrity to make money," and that the word for doing that is prostitution. She perceived this to be a "flaw in my reasoning." My reasoning was that Rap was already targeting the lowest common denominator, and Eminem was simply taking it to a comical extreme, and people appreciated his ability to do so without becoming a characatcher of other rappers. I'm not sure I explained that well enough. Here's to MJ and MM, and persnickety substitute college professors with social axes to grind against immature males on 4/20.
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Some people have not learned how to respect so all they do is fear. Respect is a skill. Its an action. It's a mindset. You have to raise your children to know how to respect, not just obey. We talk an awful lot about earning respect. But how can you expect to recieve what a person doesn't know how to give unless you teach them? Most people, when asked to name the person teh respect most name a parent or a grandparent, or a teacher or coach. Some one who was demanding yet you always knew they had your best interests at heart. Discerning that takes effort and awareness, It has to be learned, it;s not intuitive. Fear is intuitive, but it doesn't automatically lead to respect. that is a huge misconception.  |
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