Everyone always has a “best friend.” That one person you identify above all others. And it has no objective criteria. It doesn’t have to be your oldest friend, or the friend you have known the longest, or the person you have the most in common with. It doesn’t even mean the person you trust the most as plenty of best friends exist in kind of a hazy rivalry and exploitation territory were, where you expect them to take your money, steal your girlfriend/boyfriend, and leave you hanging in a Mexican Jail cell, and then simultaneously expect they would take a bullet for you or cut off a foot a la Saw for you and so you trust them with your life, even though you may not trust them with anything else. Usually forged by random circumstances and chance encounters, there is no rhyme or reason for any particular pairing. Best friends are Best friends, period.
My Best Friend is Casey Richard.

Now the temptation for me here is to just start telling stories from our childhood together. Particularly ones that are cherry picked to embarrass him, which is exactly what Casey did for his best man toast at my wedding. But my intention here is to demonstrate the profound impact my Best Friend has had on the first 40 years of my life,...........
​and embarrass him in the process.

​Growing up as a kid in the 80’s I pretty much had no choice but to become a He-man fan. Thanks to the culture of cartoons and the billion dollar (Even in 80’s terms, hate to think what the numbers would be in today’s terms, accounting for inflation) toy market, He-man was literally designed as the bait in a trap for young boys like me. Through the cartoons, comics, books, bed sheets, movies and every other avenue possible He-man and the masters of the Universe was broadcast into my awareness and I of course was powerless to resist. Now days, “the product is the marketing” and every detail of a product is designed and tailored to a specific demographic. But before He-man is was kind of the other way around. People created movies or books or what ever, and then they had to find ways to make them into toys and find ways to appeal to the general population. Star Wars was the quintessential example and it was The fact that Mattel passed on making Star Wars toys that led them to invent a line of toys and media they could mass market. And the result was He-man and the Masters if the Universe. This was a product line designed specifically to ensnare me, the little American boy, and ensnare me it did!

Hands down, without a doubt; the funniest, most entertaining, easy going, laugh a minute, fun to be around person I have ever known is Carlos Cruz.

No one ever laughed harder, or more inappropriately than the collective crowd surrounding Carlos Cruz at any given moment, except for maybe Carlos himself.

My sense of humor has always been described as “dry.” I have no idea what that means, but if that is true, then Carlos’s sense of humor must be dripping “Wet.”
We could not be more different in terms of our styles of humor. And that is why I always secretly thought we could of been a smash comedy team. The reinvention of Abbot and Costello, or at least Farley and Spade. I would obviously be the straight man. And Carlos would just be hilarious.

This is a pretty simple Idea,  and probably common knowledge. But it is timely given the season. and the year coming up. 

2020.
The end of a decade. Barbra Walters and Hugh Downs have been rendered obsolete. (I do  wonder what John Stossel is up to these days? ). It is new years resolutions time.
And we all know that 99% of New Years resolutions flame out by January 5th anyway.

So I am stating the obvious, that if you are serious about making a change in your life for 2020, that  NOW is the time to jump on it. Don't wait until December 30th to think about it. 
Start now and you give yoru self a fighting chance of following through for once. 

I am trying to start a little bit of a movement here. Lets call it a new tradition. Lets get New Year's Resolutions up and running by thanksgiving  and then you are in the groove come the new year.

I made a video explaining why the  timing is perfect even through it seems like the holidays would be a horrible time to try anything new. 
I also put together a New Year's Revolution Head Start Kit of of tips for making and keeping New Year's resolutions, (or New Years Revolutions as I now call them).  
I am also starting an online group for  those that want to jump on my very small bandwagon. 

Here's hoping to 2020!!

​Over eons of evolution, Mankind as a species has developed a highly sophisticated aptitude for problem solving, which has allowed primitive primates with sticks to grow into the scientist and engineers of modern technology.
But this is largely confined to the inorganic or nonliving world. Electrons, metallurgy, this
When it comes to problem solving with living things; ecosystems, medical issues, other human beings, we are not so sophisticated.
Our tendency for problem solving tends to begin and end with eliminate the problem, or kill it. As a species, when it comes to killing being the solution we are fantastic.
The amount of brilliance unearthed in pursuit of weapons technology is staggering. When it comes to medicine if we can identify a foreign invader we can kill, that disease is as good as cured.
But when killing isn’t the obvious or most viable solution, we really struggle.


Whether it is a malfunctioning gadget or foreign relations, Often our problem solving paradigm appears to be..

1. ​Kill it
2. Tolerate it/Ignore it
3. Change it
4. Cooperate/ work with it as it is.

1. Change

Given the amount of wasted resources and destruction this line of thinking has resulted in,
I humbly submit.......


What if we flipped this paradigm on its head?


First we always try to cooperate or work with it as it is.
If cooperation doesn’t work then we try to change it into something we can work with.
Only if we can’t change it do we try to tolerate it or just ignore it.
And only after we’ve done those three steps do we consider killing or eliminating the problem.

Happy Valentines Day Every one!
With Valentine's day dropped square into the middle of it, February is unofficially Passion month. In honor of Passion month I thought I would share 3 ways More Passion can change your life for the better (and no this is not the ploy of a husband trying to get more hanky panky from his wife. Of course we always think of Passion as Romantic Love. But This is 3 distinct and useful ways of looking at Passion that will each make you more successful be it in your personal, professional, or love life. 
The 3 ways of looking at Passion are...
Passion as the secret ingredient 
Passion as Suffering (no for real, it helps)
Passion as Raw Emotion


And in honor of Valentine's Day, I endeavor to explain all 3 using examples from my own Valentine's favorite things (Baby girl, you know who you are). So today we will be looking at...

Passion as Raw Emotion 
​
My Valentine used to be a big fan of the Show Stargate SG1. If you are unfamiliar with the show the basic premise is the US Air Force uses top secret Ancient wormholes to 
explore the Galaxy. In these explorations they find 2 naturally occurring elements Naquadah and vs Naquadria. Naquadah is a stable mineral that is very strong, nearly indestructible. However it does have some explosive chemical properties that can be used to create energy. But generally it is stable. Naquadria on the other hand is a radioactive isotope and very unstable. It has far more potential for generating energy, but has to be handled with care. I bring up these elements because they remind me of our human capacity for raw emotion. Like Naquadah, being the "Strong Silent type" has its advantages. It produces stability , predictability, and limits the potential of harm due to an over reaction. Being a passionate emotional person is much like Naquadria, it can make one volatile and unpredictable but also enhances their power and capacity to do things beyond their typical bounds. 


In a recent post at idealistcareer.org, Maggie Graham argues that Raw Emotion, both positive and negative, can be used as fuel or motivation. She speaks of "the magic spot where passion and purpose intersect can offer you motivation and energy to propel you forward, so revel in it and find ways to express that passion."
You can find the article here at
https://idealistcareers.org/emotional-career-choice/


Graham is a career counselor so the focus of her article is on finding passion to propel your career forward. But the same principle of passion as Raw Emotion is applicable to your personal or love life. 
People have emotions for a reason. Our emotions are attempting to tell us something. They are useful information. However, it's not always in our best interest to follow what our emotions tell us. For example we all can recall moments of anger or frustration when we feel compelled to hurl insults at others or have the impulse to take violent action. But displaying emotions is not the same as giving up our self control. Often an equally damaging choice is to deny our emotions and pretend, both to the world and to ourselves, that we don't feel the way we do, that nothing is wrong, that nothing is bothering us. Such a course of action not only is an act of emotional suppression, but also robs us of the motivation and fuel of Raw Emotion as described by Graham. 


Passion is the raw expression of emotion. It is wearing your heart on your sleeve. It is being genuine and congruent. It is being vulnerable and honest. 

And so there you have it! The 3 Ways More Passion can Change your life for the better. 

• Passion as the secret ingredient, meaning pour yourself into what you do to do it as no one else can. 
• Passion as Suffering, meaning recognize what you are willing to suffer for as you can then find meaning I that suffering.
• Passion as Raw Emotion, meaning emotions are powerful sources of fuel and motivation if they can be embraced as such and used approprisately

With Valentine's day dropped square into the middle of it, February is unofficially Passion month. In honor of Passion month I thought I would share 3 ways More Passion can change your life for the better (and no this is not the ploy of a husband trying to get more hanky panky from his wife. Of course we always think of Passion as Romantic Love. But This is 3 distinct and useful ways of looking at Passion that will each make you more successful be it in your personal,  professional, or  love life. 

The 3 ways of looking at Passion are...
Passion as the secret ingredient 
Passion as Suffering (no for real, it helps)
Passion as Raw Emotion


And in honor of Valentine's Day, I endeavor to explain all 3 using examples from my own Valentine's favorite things (Baby girl, you know who you are).  So today we will be looking at...

• Passion as Suffering

While Passion as the Secret Ingredient is kind of sexy and at a minimum evokes curiosity, Passion as Suffering at a minimum sounds unpleasant and is likely to make many want to click past to another page. So I welcome and appreciate you reading this far because Passion as Suffering may be the most dramatic and immediate way More Passion can change your life for the better. 
The inspiration for this way of looking at passion comes from this Huffington Post piece by Christine Hassler a few years ago. 
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4414037


In it Hassler retraces the etymology of the word passion to its Latin roots and then back to the. famously known Passion of Jesus Christ. In this she encourages people to examine their hardships and painful experiences to find what they truly care about and for which they have conviction. She actually reframed those painful experiences as the preparation required for you to learn what you need to be who you were meant to be. 
I am going to take it a step further and suggest redefining Passion as "that which you are willing to suffer for." You know something is your Passion when you find yourself willing to sacrifice for it. 
Many a starving artist has said to be "Suffering for their art." This is passion. The countless stories of Olympic athletes who sacrificed social experience (I never got to be a normal kid, I had practice) or professional goals (I had to turn down a promotion so that I could focus on my training) to make their Olympic dreams a reality are examples of Passion. And of course romantically,  every person that has ever "played hard to get" is seeking how much anguish their pursuer will endure on their account. Playing hard to get is a test of a person's passion. 
Now staying with my intention to provide examples based on my Valentine's favorite things is tricky here. Let's just say that "The Passion of the Christ" is not my Valentine's favorite movie. And revealing my Valentine's most painful experiences would sort of go against the spirit of why I wish to feature my Valentine prominently in this series. But I'm going to do it anyway, because doing so actually best illustrates the point of Passion as Suffering. While the revelation may cause my Valentine some discomfort on some level, her care, concern and commitment to the cause overcomes any pain or embarrassment this revelation may cause her. She is wiling to suffer for the sake of the thing she cares about. 
My valentine and I have struggled with infertility  Issues. We are our blessed beyond words to have a son together. But for years before and for years after his miraculous birth we have struggled, and suffered with problems and complications that have prevented us from conceiving and carrying to term more children. The frustration and shame have been unbearable at times, to say nothing of the physical toll on my Valentine's body and the financial sacrifices our attempts have required. And yet my valentine has persisted in her role I've and commitment to have the family we have envisioned. What's more is my Valentine now champions the cause of infertility, determined in her own efforts to raise awareness, end stigma and promote proactive treatment for infertility issues. According to the American Pregnancy Association, as many as 1 in 6 couples has infertility issues. Many suffer alone and see their pain as something to hide or avoid, and move on from. But for my Valentine that pain has become something to embrace and transcend, although it continues to cause her suffering and disappointment daily. In doing so, my Valentine has discovered her Passion as Suffering. 


Well if you are still reading this far I am impressed. You deserve a holiday after reading through all that. Lucky for you tomorrow is Valentine's Day. So spend it with the ones you love. And be sure to watch for the final installment of 3 Ways more Passion can change your life, part three Passion as Raw Emotion.